All Of Me by John Legend sung by me at Jerzee’s 10/19/24: On transcendence, love, and “being sung by” a song

I didn’t sing this song tonight, it sang me. More and more I’ve been having experiences while singing where something happens and it’s like I’m not actually the one in conscious control anymore. It sounds dramatic and hyperbolic, but it’s true. The song just takes over, and somehow my voice and my body and my spirit are captive of the song rather than the other way around. I start to sound beautiful and my voice is just integrated with the music and my voice is functioning autonomously. I can’t help but come up with colorful and dramatic language to express it. I am “lifted” by the music and my voice and the rest of my whole body is just following along. It’s just coming out of me. It’s an incredibly beautiful experience that is something very unique. I suppose in the best of lovemaking experiences this would be what it was like. You are yourself, but also no longer yourself. You’re part of something bigger, and you are no longer in control; that bigger and more beautiful thing is running the show and you are just lucky to be along for the ride. It’s breathtaking.

Tonight was also the 12th anniversary of the first date I had with the love of my life. After I went home that night, I laid in bed alone in the dark. But I wasn’t alone. The universe was with me. I felt levitated by love while a galaxy poured itself into my chest like a waterfall. 

I lived on the wings of that love for nine years. It took me places I had never been, and I believe few people have ever been.

I gave all of myself to it; I held nothing back, to the best of my ability. 

I left it all on the field of love.